(Strong concerns that will beat the heat)
He really looks down on me.
"A woman can't eat at the same table as a man!"
What did I do so wrong?
(What kind of husband is that?)
And he's always quitting his jobs.
Yes, I do that when I have no choice.
I'm curious about your life.
I'm in debt for around $15,000.
(Just way too easygoing)
It's only been 4 days since she started school,
but she wants to drop out.
I want to search for myself.
(What concern do they have?)
[KBS World TV Ver] Hello Counselor 'Summer Special' "The 3 Best Solutions for Beating the Sleepless Nights" -♥ Ruo Xi ♥-
This one is "Are You Looking Down On Me?"
There's a husband and a wife here.
- This will suit your image. - Sure.
- You play the wife. - Okay.
Hello.
I'm a woman in my 40s with twin boys
in 8th grade.
My husband hasn't changed at all
during our 17 years of marriage.
(So he's a good husband?)
"A woman can't eat at the same table as a man!"
(Yikes!)
And if I go out...
"A woman shouldn't stay out so late!"
Always talking about how women should behave,
he's like a king from the Joseon dynasty.
"Wife! Get me some water."
"Fix me dinner."
When I'm busy doing housework...
"Could you help with the housework on the weekends?"
I'm the breadwinner! I don't do things like that!
A woman should do the housework!"
And this is what annoys me the most.
He takes out all his stress on our family.
I have to work this hard because of you all.
Man, I should've never married
a woman from a poor family."
(Shocking)
"Dear! How could you say that?
How upsetting."
You're a woman, and you just cut me off?
What do you even do at home?
I can't stand you!
Leave this place!"
I've packed my things and left several times.
She really left?
I can't take this anymore.
Can you please fix my audacious husband?
There are still people like this?
This husband sounds like he's from a folk village.
I thought this was about my husband at first.
My husband hasn't changed at all.
He's a bit harsh.
For example, how?
Let's say I put on some weight.
"How do you keep your thighs and arms so thick?"
He's like that.
He's sarcastic.
He's just joking around.
He isn't joking. He really means it.
- After I gave birth. - Really?
"Is there another baby still in you?"
(Such a harsh comment)
He's really consistent.
He just sounds serious when he's joking.
- Since he's an actor. - It causes misunderstanding.
How do you treat your wife, Sukjoon?
We never bicker or argue.
I'm the one who committed the original sin,
so I can't be mean to my wife.
- What's wrong with remarrying? - Yeah.
Thank you for bringing that up.
In case people don't know.
People were like, "Oh."
(I'm happy now)
Let's bring out our guest.
(Who has a patriarchal husband?)
(Yu Sukyi)
(Welcome)
They were like that in the old days.
"A woman shouldn't do this or that."
Is he really like that?
Yes, he is.
Even when we eat...
"How dare a woman sit at the same table as me?"
Does he say that jokingly?
"How dare a woman..."
Even with housework,
he says the woman should do it, since he works.
Even though we both work.
- You both work? - Even though you work too?
I've been working for over 20 years.
He hates it when I come home late from work dinners.
"A woman shouldn't be out late at night."
How late?
If I'm out past 7...
(What?)
- 7 in the morning? - No.
If it's 7, you can't make the work dinner.
Don't work dinners usually start at 7?
I get off work at 5,
so we have our work dinners earlier.
On the road, if there's a poor driver ahead of him,
he says, "That has to be a woman."
"That driver has to be a woman."
- He has prejudice. - Yes, a woman.
She should just stay in the kitchen.
- Why is she driving?" - The kitchen...
What does that mean?
That she should just do housework at home.
Nobody even says that anymore.
Is he like that outside of the house too?
Does he say stuff like that for people to hear?
He isn't like that outside.
Really? Just at home?
He acts like he's the king at home.
Yeah, it sounds like it.
I want to relax on my days off,
but he wants me to cook him all three meals.
He asks me to fetch him water.
Even when we get on the elevator,
he tells me to press the button.
"A woman should press the elevator button."
How does he come up when he's by himself?
Does he take the stairs?
He can't press the button because he's a man.
(That was refreshing)
What else? Besides the elevator.
When we order delivery...
I make the money and I pay,
so you order the food."
But didn't you say that you both work?
Tell your husband he should order and you'll pay.
Yes, I've said that too.
Then what does he say?
"I'm paying."
I guess he really doesn't want to order it himself.
We each pay half of the living expenses.
- Half and half? - Yes.
And you raise your kids.
Yes, I pay for their academies.
Academy fees are really expensive.
Then he doesn't mind you spending your own money?
He does. Let's say I want some pastries
and I buy some with my credit card.
He complains about me using money.
But you made that money.
- I bet that made you sad. - That's very sad.
All you did was buy some pastries.
And you bought them with your own money.
Just like the title of this story, when you're at home,
he looks down on you?
He really does.
Since we're family, and it's comfortable.
My husband says...
If he had married a rich woman,
he'd be able to work less
and live in a better home.
He always says he wouldn't have to work so hard.
He takes it all out on you.
Doesn't this sound like a drama?
It's like a historical drama.
Maybe he has his side of the story,
but talking like that to your wife is really hurtful.
We should hear from the husband.
- Is that man your husband? - Yes.
He sure looks manly.
Let's meet the husband that acts like a king. Hello.
Hello.
Pleasure to meet you.
This is not a pleasure.
(Humph) He's already sulky.
You're not happy to see your wife or to see me?
Everyone. I'm not happy to see anyone.
Are you being sulky?
I'm angry, not sulky.
From hearing what your wife said?
(Doesn't want to answer)
(Flustered)
What made you so angry?
What did I do so wrong?
Gosh.
You don't understand why she's complaining?
I don't really do stuff for my family,
but I do my own laundry, wash my own shoes...
You do things for yourself.
I clean my own stuff.
Really?
Let me just ask you this, sir.
Would you rather talk to the male hosts here?
No.
You told me you were angry,
which startled me.
Maybe you don't like women talking to you.
- Can I talk to you too? - It's fine.
- May I ask you something? - Yes.
I wish you wouldn't.
After hearing all this,
I thought you'd be in your 60s or 70s,
- but you're really young. - Yes, I am.
- May I ask your age? - I'm 46.
- Born in 1974. - 1974.
That's my age.
You're my age.
- That was mean, Jiyeong. - Why?
We're not trying to find out how old he is.
I was trying to get closer to him.
I thought it would be a really tough question.
(Glaring) May I ask you something?
Oh, you're my age!"
(Nice to meet you)
He has notions about women.
Haena, be bold.
You're not even that old, yet...
Why won't you look him in the eyes?
Everyone's scared.
Why are you always saying,
"A woman shouldn't do this or that"?
Maybe it's the way I've lived my life.
It has become a habit.
Is that how your parents or uncles talk?
Or do your friends talk like that?
- My friends. - Your friends.
Was your dad like that to your mom when you were young?
No, my father was not like that.
(Pardon?)
- What? - My father was not like that.
- Your father wasn't like that? - Right.
Where is this coming from?
So you're copying your friends?
(Nods)
(He might be a legendary guest)
Pressing the elevator button
and ordering food should be done by a woman?
I press it when I want to.
If I don't, she should.
And for ordering food,
I just say that jokingly.
Oh, it's a joke. Of course.
If asking her to order food is a joke,
do you sometimes order food yourself too?
I make her do it 20% to 30% of the time.
It's closer to 90% of the time.
There's some disagreement.
Why won't you let her go to work dinners?
(What's wrong with that?)
Asking her to be home by 7
is too early.
She can go, but she comes home late.
- 7 p.m. is late? - But it's 7.
No. Sometimes she comes home late at night.
Like what time?
10.
(Did we hear that right?)
(10 is when people really start partying)
- 10 in the morning? - No.
She usually comes home at 10.
How often does she have those work dinners?
Not even once a month. I tell her not to go.
Do you not have work dinners?
I eat out often.
- But why not your wife? - Until what time?
He comes home really late sometimes.
Their idea of "really late" is different from ours.
What is "really late" for you?
2 to 3 a.m.
Things should be fair.
If you get to come home late at night,
she should be able to too.
If you come home late once a week, so should the woman.
So if I come home early every day,
she should too, right?
- Promise each other. - I should never go out then.
Whenever the male hosts talk to you,
you don't talk like that,
but you're so mean to the women.
Are you looking down on me because I'm your age?
Are you looking down on me too?
I weigh a lot!
(You're too skinny to take me on)
(That felt good to hear)
"My life is so hard because of you three."
Why did you say those things?
I say things like that when I drink.
But it hurts your family. Does that feel good?
I work in haulage services for malfunctioning cars.
I've been in a lot of car accidents,
and my job is very difficult.
Maybe that job
caused my personality to change.
He thinks it's a lot of physical labor.
He thinks it's easy for me,
since I work in an office.
That's why he talks to his family like that.
I get angry when I drink,
because I'm displeased with things.
My son sometimes leaves out a snack wrapper.
You could clean that up.
But it happens so often.
I can't keep cleaning up his mess.
And I tend to get really affectionate when I drink.
But she doesn't like it.
Then I lose my temper.
I work too,
so the house would inevitably get messy.
But it's not like I don't do housework.
I do a lot, but it's not good enough for him.
When he comes home from drinking
and I'm doing the dishes, he complains that it's noisy.
Then I end up sighing, and he says,
I've supported you for 17 years.
"What have you done?"
He complains about you sighing?
You've been together for 17 years as you both worked.
Yes, I work too.
(I'm getting angry now)
When you come home drunk,
how are you affectionate to your sons?
I pinch their cheeks or slap their butts.
- They're in 8th grade. - I bet it hurts.
- They're in 8th grade! - If they're in 8th grade,
they'd try to avoid you
if you get near them late at night.
It's not late at night. It's around 10.
(Going back and forth)
You said 10 is late.
He says he's affectionate with your kids.
Is he?
He's pretty wild.
He says men should be strong
and that they should be good at sports.
He's always saying that about men.
For your sons, it's about men. How men should act.
And to the wife, "A woman should do this and that."
Do your sons like their father?
They do, which worries me.
The younger one is starting to become like him.
- Including his hot temper? - Yes.
They have fixed ideas on what men should be like.
By the time your sons become adults,
the society will be much more different than now.
If they start talking like you then,
even the other guys wouldn't hang out with them,
and women wouldn't come near them.
Do you want them to become just like you?
No.
I think they'll do the right thing.
- Your sons? - Yes.
- But your wife says... - No, no.
My sons are very popular.
(His boldness puts you at a loss for words)
(You can't talk to this guy)
My husband tells our sons
to meet rich women when they grow up.
He says that from time to time.
I bet that's really upsetting.
I just lost my temper. I didn't mean that.
How many times have you said that so far?
I'm not sure.
He says it often.
Did you really say that often?
I said I don't remember.
I don't remember if I said it often.
He doesn't want to talk with the women.
After you said that
and you sobered up the next day,
did you ever apologize to your wife?
- No, I don't apologize. - I bet.
- Why not? Because you're a man? - Yes.
(He has his pride as a man)
(Try not to start cussing)
I'm too ashamed to do that.
You should be a man and apologize.
Why are you so afraid?
You make a lot of money,
both your sons like you,
and your wife is here telling us her concerns
because she really likes you too.
Are you afraid your family will stop loving you?
Is that why you're always so tough on them?
That's not true.
Then why?
I just don't get it.
I'm comfortable around my family.
When I'm at home, I want to
act the way I want.
I believe that they'll be understanding.
Then can your sons and wife talk to you
however they want, since you're family?
No.
But they get stressed out too.
It's okay for him, but not the rest of his family,
which is totally ridiculous.
(I'm a man, but I don't get him)
What else does he say all the time?
He tells us to leave.
- And have you ever left? - Yes, I have.
Around 5 times. I've left many times.
I even left recently.
I spent two nights at a motel.
- Two nights? - Yes.
How do you end up coming home?
He calls me and tells me to come home.
Does he apologize?
He never apologizes.
I see.
I've considered divorce a lot too.
That's what's in my heart right now.
I'm really considering getting a divorce.
Right.
You're not much of a talker,
yet you came on our show.
It means you're ready to make a decision.
It must've been rough these past 17 years.
(Does the husband know how hard it is for her?)
The milk has already been spilled.
Can she just say everything that's on her mind?
Don't get all sulky later about the things she says.
- He was sulky earlier. - You won't do that, right?
(He's already sulky)
Why won't he respond?
You should let her speak her mind.
She can't if you'll complain about it later.
Do you want her to get sick from stress?
Can she at least get things off her chest?
Yes, I'll listen.
- Really? - Yes.
That didn't sound like you meant it.
(Let's hear what she has to say)
Have you two ever
talked about divorce in front of your kids?
Yes, we have.
- You talked about that in front of your kids? - Yes.
My older son said that
he'd live with one of us.
The younger one didn't say anything.
I bet that's hard on the kids.
(Even the kids get hurt)
(She's making me the bad guy)
We have the older sisters here to support the wife.
I'm sure it's hard on the wife,
but I bet it's really frustrating for her sisters.
Let's talk to them. Hello.
- Hello! - Hello.
(Hello)
(She seems cheerful)
I said you were probably frustrated and upset,
but you seem so cheerful.
That was surprising.
How was it hearing from your younger sister?
When the entire family is together,
our brother-in-law sometimes loses his temper.
One time, we all took a trip with our father.
He complained that the place was too far away
and that it was too cold.
Our sister got upset, so she said,
"Can't you just spend the night here?"
So he said he'd just leave by himself.
He does that.
I'm not happy about this at all.
He loses his temper in front of your family too?
Yes, he's the youngest son-in-law.
My father passed away last year.
He passed away.
We had two funerals,
since both my parents passed away.
He drank a lot each time. It was terrible.
My mom passed away 6 or 7 years ago.
My nephew did something wrong,
and my husband got angry.
He had been drinking,
and he said he was going to leave
even though the funeral wasn't over yet.
(That's unacceptable)
(Why doesn't he think of his wife?)
(I've been wronged)
So my brother-in-law stopped him
and yelled at him.
You're supposed to stay for the funeral.
You know that, right?
I don't know why I got angry,
but the kid angrily threw his notebook in front of me.
Then if someone in your family passed away
and your wife got angry for a good reason,
should she be able to leave?
- But I... - Should she leave or not?
Can your wife leave the funeral too?
- She should be able to. - Right.
No.
Why not?
(He knows he's in the wrong!)
Are you an adult?
I'm an adult. That's why I didn't actually leave.
I just got angry.
But there are other guests there.
Not at that time.
(Disbelief)
What a relief.
(That's a relief)
No guests then.
(We applaud the wife for living with this man)
It sounds like drinking causes some of it,
but I think it's how you express yourself.
It's like there are rankings in your family.
"I'm allowed to act like this, but not my family."
What if a higher-up at work
yelled at you in front of your sons?
That would never happen.
This is why I brought this up.
When you lose your temper
in front of your in-laws...
"He acts this way around us.
He must be worse when we're not here."
You don't have anything to say to that.
I bet it's really hard on your family.
I have some resentment towards my wife.
That's why that happens.
What kind of resentment?
And I'm being polite,
but you're being rude to me.
Please be more respectful.
I'm older than you.
He's 52!
And I'm 80kg!
(Troubled)
My wife spends a lot.
She's a big spender.
The men in our family, my sons and I,
didn't want to move.
We liked our old place.
But I had to take out a $100,000 loan to move.
I asked him first,
and he said he was fine with moving.
Why do you resent her when you said it was okay?
I didn't say it was okay.
I came home from drinking, so I was tired.
That's when she kept pestering me.
How could I say no? I just caved in.
- You could've talked to her the next day. - Yeah.
She kept calling me and waking me up.
And I can't turn off my phone because of my job.
Stop talking so rudely!
Hold on. We should start being rude to him.
(Answer us, kid)
We're just trying to talk,
and he's being so rude.
(Troubled)
(Stop complaining)
You remembered the next day,
but you didn't want to take back what you said,
so you didn't talk about not moving?
Be rude!
So that's it, huh?
- Say something! - That's right.
She said she'd handle the move
and pay back the loan.
But why is she making me pay for it?
Your husband is paying back the loan?
I wanted to take out the loan in my name
so I could pay it back.
I asked him to help pay for the living expenses.
But I guess he thinks it's wasteful.
Hold on.
The loan was taken out under your name.
Yes.
Why not use her name so she can pay it back?
She wouldn't pay it back even if it was under hers.
- I'm telling you. - But you haven't tried.
- That's a what-if. - She can't pay it back.
Can you change it now so it's under her name?
Yes.
But it's almost all paid back, so there's no point.
(He's so pathetic)
(We don't even know what to say)
It's all paid back. Why are you still resentful?
It's almost all paid back.
(I want to vote now)
So you resent your wife,
your wife is having a hard time,
and you fight in front of your kids.
Do you want to live this way forever?
No. We have a happy family.
- What? - We're happy.
- What are you talking about? - Says who?
You can become a happy family starting now.
To make that apparent to other people,
and since it's hard to keep apologizing,
you should try to make less mistakes
so that things will change for the better.
Sir, talk to your wife and...
(After this long conversation)
(Does the husband finally understand?)
(Snorts)
(I'm not apologizing!)
(He's quite the guest...)
(I knew it)
So...
Things will get a lot better if you just do that.
"How can I swallow my pride as a man
and apologize?" That's wrong.
A real man who is truly courageous
knows how to apologize.
You should apologize to people younger than you
and also to your kids.
You have to admit your mistakes and apologize.
(I want a sincere apology)
(Please)
I get angry a lot,
and I don't show her much respect outside.
I'll try to be more respectful.
- I'll try to change my ways. - Great.
And how about saying sorry?
Are you willing to apologize?
"What have you ever done for me?"
(Don't you feel bad about saying that?)
She does a lot,
but I guess I'm not good at expressing myself.
Your wife is the best, right?
Yes. Let's try to be happy together.
So you admit you were wrong?
- I was wrong! - Are you sorry?
- You're sorry? - Yeah!
Put your hands together and beg!
"I'm sorry, dear!"
(She's starting to feel better now)
I'm so thankful that he agreed to come here.
I'm so happy that he's willing to change.
Tell him you love him.
I still love you and I'll love you forever.
(Please respect your wife)
(And become a role model to your kids)
(We hope he becomes a real man!)
(My husband has been helping out with chores)
(And letting me go to more team dinners)
(He compliments me more often now)
(And tells me he loves me, so I'm happy)
This concern is "The Quitter."
Hello.
I'm a housewife in my 30s with two sons.
There's someone that makes me more upset
than my two misbehaving sons.
He's so good at voices.
Ring, ring.
Hello? Big brother.
How have you been doing?
Oh, I'm good.
I started delivering milk not too long ago.
Ring, ring.
"Hi. How's the milk delivery going?"
"Oh, I quit doing that.
It wasn't a good fit."
"But it's only been a week. What do you do now?"
"I started working at a distribution factory yesterday.
But I think I'm going to quit.
It's not a good fit."
(Again?)
My big brother, the quitter, turned 40 this year.
Over the last 20 years, he's never worked a job
for over 6 months.
I want to just let him live his life, but...
Text message! "Hey, how are you?
I need some money for rent.
Could I borrow $30?"
Text message! "I don't have money for food.
All I eat is soy sauce.
Can I get $20?"
Text message! "This is the last time. Just $10."
(Disbelief)
He's always borrowing money
from me even though I'm married now.
"I can't let you borrow money anymore!
Can you please get a job and stick to it?"
"I guess I'm a scumbag.
I'm your only brother...
I'll just stop contacting you now."
I'm worried something might happen to him
once we cut off all contact.
Can you please help me talk some sense
into my older brother?
Jeongyeon, you quit being an announcer.
How long did you do that before you quit?
I did that for 10 years.
That's not so bad. You did it for a while.
But at least the brother
keeps attempting to try new jobs...
- That's not so bad. - Which is good.
But he never sticks to a job.
He's totally different from the boyfriend earlier.
The total opposite.
Kwanghee, what do you think about this story?
- Me? - Do you have perseverance?
Of course I do.
Everyone told me to give up when I wanted
to be a celebrity as a kid.
Even my parents told me to quit, but I stuck with it.
I accomplished my goal.
How long will you be a celebrity?
As long as people still find me funny.
Until they don't want me on TV.
So you quit being a singer?
People will hate me if I keep singing. Seriously.
(Just stick to variety shows)
Let's see who wrote to us. Come on out!
(Who's worried about her quitter older brother?)
(Kang Hosuk)
Careful.
(Falls)
Careful there.
(Worried)
She seems really nervous.
Slowly, just relax.
It seems our next guest is a bit nervous.
Let's give her a big hand to encourage her.
Let's go! Take a look at Kwanghee.
Take a look at Kwanghee.
Don't be shy. Don't be shy.
Don't be shy.
(Pleased after speaking English)
I read your story about your brother the quitter.
How bad is it?
He turned 40 this year.
And he's always quitting his jobs.
He lasts a week to a month at best.
- That's a long time for him? - Yes.
- He has quit after a day too? - Not even a full day.
(He's quit jobs in less than a day too)
He graduated high school 20 years ago.
He's worked in production,
delivery, sales and cleaning.
Why does he keep quitting his jobs?
He says they aren't a good fit.
But it sounds like an excuse.
He says he holds other people back.
I think that's what he's most worried about.
He feels like his incompetence hinders others?
He can use his limbs well.
(Being brutally honest about her brother!)
You mean his arms and legs work fine.
I hate how he can't take care of himself.
Do you worry a lot about your brother?
I've been married for 14 years.
That's a long time.
Whenever my brother contacts me,
he asks me how I've been doing,
but he eventually asks me for money.
How are you? How are the kids?
Your husband?
Can I borrow $20?" It's like that.
I end up avoiding him when he contacts me.
Because he never has a regular paycheck.
You seem really nervous.
Would you like some water?
- Want some? - Have some water.
Such a shy person. This must be a big concern.
Yeah.
And it's very different to be sitting up here
in front of all you people watching us.
Right. 400 eyes are watching.
(We'll try to look somewhere else)
How does your brother get by on his own?
He used to live in a study dorm center.
Study dorm.
He can barely afford the rent
and he claims he only eats soy sauce.
He's always telling me,
"This will be the last time I borrow money."
It must be really bad for him to ask for your help.
Hello.
I'm Kang Useok, the older brother.
(Trembling)
These siblings are so nervous.
He's trembling too.
Hold the mic to your mouth.
(Trembling)
- He's nervous too. - I feel so bad.
(They're definitely siblings...)
Do you understand why your sister is concerned?
Yes. I do in my head.
But...
I can't act on it.
She looks like that because she's hungry.
That's what the last boyfriend said.
But I feel bad.
And I'm ashamed of myself.
If you don't want to call your sister for help,
you should just stick to one job.
Why do you keep quitting your jobs?
I'm so afraid of working.
Afraid of what?
I think I'm afraid of people.
If anyone admonishes me,
it tends to really stick with me.
Sometimes I feel like I can't stay in that place.
I end up just leaving.
So you worked at a distribution center.
How long were you there?
Around 4 months.
I worked with a friend.
That friend is really smart and clever.
He was a lot better at the job than me.
The only thing I could do is manual labor.
But he was good at everything.
That's why I felt inferior.
I felt like I couldn't work with that friend anymore.
Have you ever been yelled at so badly
at work that it really hurt you?
I want to do a good job at what I do,
but once I start working, I'm never that good.
I'm always terrified that people will realize
I'm a bad worker.
So you're worried about things
that haven't even happened yet.
Are you unemployed right now?
Yes, I'm currently unemployed.
I did construction for $100 a day at a temp agency.
- $100 a day? - Yes.
So around how much do you make a month?
- A day... - In a month.
Around $100 a month.
($100 a month)
Pardon?
So you only work there a day per month?
- A day per month? - Yes.
(What is this?)
You make $100 a month for a day's work.
Then when you're broke and run out of food,
you force yourself to do manual labor?
Yes, I do that when I have no choice.
It's hard to get by on just $100 a month.
I'm curious about your life.
It's really hard.
I'm in debt for around $15,000.
- You're in debt for $15,000? - Yes.
(Oh my god)
Then you should be working more no matter what.
Yes, I always think that to myself...
But I can't seem to follow through.
Did you know your brother
was in debt for $15,000?
I didn't know.
He could've paid that back
if he just worked for a few months.
Do you have any other family members?
My father passed away early.
My mother...
My mom... Things are hard for her.
She can't live with your brother?
My mother remarried.
Oh, she got remarried.
But my brother still calls her all the time
to borrow money from her.
That could cause trouble for your
mother's new husband.
Not just from our mother. Even my husband.
He borrowed around $2,000 from him.
He borrowed $2,000 from your husband?
When my husband worked at a cell phone company,
he offered my brother a job there.
That sounds good.
But he refused that offer.
Why did you refuse?
I've worked in a factory before.
I worked at an instant noodle factory.
The machines stopped running one day.
All the instant noodles fell on the floor.
I thought I could handle things,
but I couldn't and felt afraid that
people would yell at me for that.
So I turned down my brother-in-law's offer.
You refused because you're scared he would yell at you?
Yes.
(So frustrating)
(I feel like I'm about to explode)
Did something happen when you were a kid
that made you so fearful?
We weren't well-off when I was a kid.
And my parents fought a lot.
They fought over trivial things.
They fought while watching TV.
They fought while playing games during the holidays.
I tried screaming in my room
for them to stop fighting.
But I guess they didn't hear me.
(He couldn't get through to them)
I still have that pain in my heart.
So I'm afraid to be around a lot of people.
(Your upbringing does influence you)
But your sister also grew up
seeing your parents fight too.
I'm actually more timid than my brother.
I tend to hide.
So I just don't understand him at times.
He's very active in church.
He's good around people in church?
- He even teaches there. - He teaches?
We have needy kids there
and I've counseled them before.
When I see them satisfied,
I feel like I've made a difference.
How ironic.
You counsel needy kids,
but you're the one in a predicament.
(You're the one that needs counseling)
(This is so frustrating)
Some of the brother's friends are here.
Let's talk to them. How is he at church?
He's very outgoing.
He's kind and influential.
- Influential? - Yes.
He has a real positive vibe.
So I didn't know he had all these problems.
Why do you think he keeps quitting his jobs?
He only thinks about the glory
you feel when you accomplish something.
All of you up there got to where you are
through patience and perseverance.
But he just wants the glory of accomplishment.
Is this true?
Yes.
If the process is too hard...
I just...
I want to skip over that process.
(Part 2 is coming soon)
Tell us about your childhood.
What was that like?
How was it before you got married?
I started working when I was 19.
- That's Jinsol's age. - Yes.
My father wasn't around then.
And my mother has a speech impediment.
Oh, she has a speech impediment?
I was the only person that could work.
And your brother didn't work then?
No, he didn't work.
What did he do back then?
He just stayed at home.
(He stayed at home while his little sister worked)
Things were really hard, but then I met
my husband when I was 23.
I got married a bit early.
But marriage isn't always what you expect it to be.
I want to work too. My second child is 13 years old.
His speech development is really slow.
Oh, he's developing slowly.
He can only speak like a 5 or 6-year-old.
- But he's 13. - Yes.
He needs treatment, but my brother
keeps calling me for money.
(Her brother keeps calling her for money)
Which puts me in a bind.
How do you feel about all this, Brother?
I still think my sister
has a better life than me.
How hard is your life?
How is life for you?
My sister has her husband and her kids.
But I spend a lot of time alone, so I get lonely.
There were many days where I didn't get to eat.
I've went without food on so many occasions.
Just get a job then.
Is it better to starve than be fearful of people?
It's better to starve than work?
Yes. Sometimes
I think it's better.
(I'd rather starve than be afraid!)
I do think that I have to work,
but I can never seem to follow through.
(I'm alone worrying about this)
You claim you've become like this
because your parents fought a lot.
But I don't think that's the only reason
you're so afraid of people.
That doesn't sound right.
I think there's another reason
that you're not telling us.
I haven't brought it up because I was too ashamed.
When I was in elementary school...
Most kids would raise their hand
to use the bathroom if their stomach hurt.
But I went in my pants.
That's when the other kids started teasing me.
They stole my bag and tore it up.
They hit me in the face.
They sent me on errands to buy them stuff.
That's what happened.
- You were bullied. - Ostracized.
(Hearing about his trauma for the first time)
That was just in elementary school?
Even in high school.
- Constantly? - Yes...
(Gosh, that's so sad)
The kids teased me when I went to school.
After hearing from you, I can see why
you're afraid of people and so concerned about
what they might think of you.
(Pity)
Have you ever dated someone?
I doubt it. Probably not.
For around 3 years. During my mid-30s.
- You dated someone for 3 years? - Yes.
That's a lot longer than you've held a job.
So he's good with people.
- Yeah. - So he's able to date.
This is a different issue!
- Even in a warzone... - You can have kids.
So why did you break up?
We ended up talking about marriage.
I wanted to go meet her parents.
But my situation...
- What situation? - I was broke.
I have no income and I'm always quitting my jobs.
You must've tried to hold a job
when you had a girlfriend.
No, I never held a job for too long
even when I had a girlfriend.
Even being in love couldn't change him?
Is love not powerful enough?
Were you able to spend time with her though?
Yes, I spent time with her.
This is what the previous girlfriend wants.
Polar opposites in life do exist.
This is what the previous girlfriend wants.
This guy spent plenty of time with his girlfriend.
What do you say?
(What will she say?)
This is too extreme.
(You're out)
"This"? That was rude.
I'm sorry. That's too extreme.
(I can understand her choice)
We got some consultation.
Many people that were bullied as children
have trouble with personal relationships
even in their 20s and 30s.
But after hearing about the brother,
the experts thought that he had perseverance
because he keeps looking for work.
Is there anyone who can point out his strengths?
I think it would be nice to compliment him.
- He has a calming voice. - Very soft.
I bet he'd never fight.
I bet you're a pacifist.
(Yes, he really is) Yes, I am.
I try to avoid fights.
He's a real church boy.
Someone that comforts and consoles you.
Do you complain about side dishes?
- No, right? - I don't complain about side dishes.
He never gets enough to eat.
He doesn't complain about food.
I'm happy with just kimchi.
Unlike someone who says
kimchi isn't a side dish!
What do you think his strengths are?
His strengths?
He's good at listening to my concerns
whenever we talk.
He's a good listener.
Why not
join us here in the next episode?
(A new host for the show)
- Take the comedian audition. - Yes.
He makes me laugh a lot
whenever we talk.
He can make his sister laugh.
But did you all notice this?
She's always so shy
and speaks softly, but
she gets louder when she talks about her brother.
She laughs and looks at him.
(Did you all notice this?)
(Big smile)
- His strengths? - Yes.
(She lifts her head) He's a good listener.
He's funny. He makes me laugh a lot.
I have a little sister too.
So I can relate to this story.
What does she say when people bash you online?
She pretends she didn't see that stuff.
- Even though she did? - Yes.
It makes her sad too.
(All sisters feel the same about their brothers)
Your sister came on this show for you.
She's such a timid person,
yet she went on TV for you.
She was crying backstage because she was afraid.
(I'm doing this for you, Brother)
Is she a timid person?
Yes, she's very timid.
Has life been hard for her?
Yes, it's been hard for her.
What do you want to do for her?
You want to make her happy, right?
I want to be good to her.
(Don't worry anymore)
(We can do this together)
(It's never too late to start)
Put your hand on your heart and tell us.
Was it laziness or was it fear?
Yes, part of it was laziness too.
(Acknowledging it is the first step to a new start)
Your sister overcame her fears,
so you should do that too.
- Got that? - Yes.
(I'll act more like an older brother from now on)
Any last words for your brother?
I'm all choked up...
It's okay.
We'll wait, so whenever you're ready.
It's been really hard for me too.
I want to rely on you sometimes too.
But I think what I want most of all
is for you to live a good life.
You can do it!
Say something hopeful to your sweet sister.
I know I haven't been a great older brother.
But from now on,
I won't be lazy and I'll try to work more.
I hope you'll give me a chance to prove that.
I'd like you to make a more specific promise.
How many times a month will you work?
Umm...
(The brother was so weak)
(Is he determined now?)
10 to 15 times.
- 15 times? Really? - Yes.
I'll try to work harder.
(I'll work harder)
(Hello, this is the older brother)
(Ever since the show, I've been looking for a job)
(Thank you for telling me to be a better brother)
(I'm so glad I was on the show)
"Lightning on a Clear Day."
Hello.
I'm a loving mother in my 40s with
a 16-year-old and a 14-year-old.
My daughter entered middle school this year
and she's been a good student since she was young.
Oh, that's nice.
"Ma'am! Minju..."
Oh, her name is Minju too...
(Minju of IZ"ONE, the clean one)
Minju got the best grades in her class!
Congratulations, ma'am!
Minju won a presidential award!"
I was so proud of my daughter.
But then...
"Mom.
I want to drop out of middle school."
(I want to drop out)
It was like lightning on a clear day.
"Daughter, why do you want to drop out?
What do you mean by that?"
"Studying at school isn't for me."
"Then what are you going to do?"
"I'll be fine on my own.
Let me quit school for now. Come on."
My daughter became so disobedient.
"Daughter, how about just one more semester
and then you decide?"
"That's a waste of time!
I won't change my mind no matter what.
I'm dropping out."
I tried begging, getting angry and hitting her,
but she just won't listen.
Please help me so that I can get
my daughter to stay in school.
(Talk my daughter out of dropping out)
Studying is important too,
but school is like a small society.
You attend to build your social skills.
How was it... When you were in school?
I dropped out of high school to pursue music.
Right, that's what Haon did.
That one part was relatable. That it's a waste of time.
Because you're not studying what you want to.
So I can understand that.
But dropping out of middle school is a bit too soon.
So Haon agrees. I imagine the mother was shocked.
Yeah.
Let's bring in the person with this concern.
Come on out!
(Whose 14-year-old wants to drop out of school?)
(Kim Seonmi)
(Hello)
I bet you were flustered.
It was a big surprise.
She was only in middle school for 4 days
and then she said she wanted to drop out.
You must've told her no, right?
- Yes. - So what did she say?
She was very determined.
I tried begging, getting angry...
I even tried hitting her.
But she won't change her mind.
I always kiss my daughter good-bye before school.
But after our argument,
she won't kiss me before school.
She keeps texting me
why she doesn't want to go to school,
that she has her own plans
and that she hopes that this is the right choice.
So what does she want to do after dropping out?
I want to get a part-time job.
- A job? - Yes.
I dropped out to pursue music.
I just wanted to stay at home.
So what does she want to do after dropping out?
Homeschooling.
- Pardon? - Homeschooling.
She wants to study by herself at home?
She wants to study at home and get her GED.
Does she know anyone being homeschooled?
Nobody.
Yet she brought that up.
In "High School Rapper..."
(Startled)
The 1st and 2nd place winners
all dropped out of high school.
That would be him.
(Haon feels bad and repents)
So I thought that influenced her,
- but that's not the case. - It's not because of you.
When your daughter told you that,
did you ask the school if she was having problems
or anything like that?
I talked to her teacher.
She's always been a good student.
Minju gets good grades and has a good attitude.
So the teacher had no idea.
So it's not what we thought it was.
She gets good grades.
She got a scholarship for math and science.
And a presidential award.
She was even class president. A model student.
She's even taking honors classes.
(What happened to my pride and joy?)
Let's talk to the daughter and see what's up.
- Hello. - Hello.
(Why does she want to drop out after 4 days?)
So pretty.
What a pretty girl.
She looks smart too.
She looks so smart and pretty.
Do you understand why this concerns your mom?
I know my mom was really surprised
when I told her I wanted to drop out.
I want to do homeschooling
so I can have my own schedule
and take time to find myself.
Listening to older people with experience,
the friends you make and even the bad times
you go through will help you find
who you are later in life.
It was a hard decision
because I didn't want to leave my friends.
But studying is more important.
You want to pursue your studies?
You want to get out before you get too attached?
- Before you'll miss your friends. - Yes.
You want to study on your own? What's your goal?
I want to get my middle school GED
through homeschooling.
I also want to learn Spanish and Chinese.
Then I want to go to an autonomous high school.
- So you want to go to high school? - Yes.
So homeschooling for middle school to get her GED
and then an autonomous high school...
She has a very clear plan.
I'm a night person.
I can really focus between 1 and 5 a.m.
So I watch internet lectures...
- You watch those too. - Yes.
I post questions on the Q&A message board.
So I want to study on my own.
So that's your schedule.
What's Milk? Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays.
An internet lecture.
Oh, an internet lecture.
I thought you drank milk tea.
I thought she was really classy.
Milk tea before starting her day.
(She won't waste a moment of her day!)
That's a tight schedule.
(She really is a night person)
So you'd sleep during the day.
Sleep in the morning and wake up in the afternoon.
So she goes to bed at 6 a.m.
That's like my work schedule.
- That's how you work? - Late at night.
It's a musician's schedule.
So determined. She even made a schedule.
As her mother, I don't think she'll keep that schedule.
When I try to check her workbooks,
she won't let me.
(I know that feeling)
I take a peek when she's asleep.
Sometimes the pages were blank.
So I have my doubts that she can keep this up.
Why did you hide your workbook?
Yeah, why?
I wanted my mom to think I was doing well.
- You want to be complimented. - Yes.
Why do you want her to think you're doing well?
She has to work really hard too,
so I want to make her happy.
You want to make her happy...
What a sweet daughter.
She doesn't want to disappoint her mother.
Did you know she was this considerate of you, ma'am?
I didn't know she thought all that.
I'm choking up right now.
(Tears welling up)
(This 14-year-old just wants to be a good daughter)
I used to yell at her
if she didn't study a lot.
I think she felt pressured that
she had to get the best grades in her class.
Is that true?
Do you feel pressured at all? Even a little?
Yes. I get sad when I don't get the best grades.
So I want to study without all the competition.
That's why you want to be homeschooled.
That's a reason too...
That's so heartbreaking.
Was your mom strict on you in elementary school?
She said this about my friend Sojeong here.
"Why can't you focus like Sojeong?"
I thought, "Just be Sojeong's mom instead."
But I couldn't tell her that.
You were about to say that, but you didn't.
Be Sojeong's mom instead...
Never mind."
Why didn't you tell your mom that?
Tell her not to compare you two.
That would make her sad.
You're really considerate of your mother.
(What a sweet girl)
We have her 6th grade teacher
from elementary school here.
Her teacher is here.
Hello.
(Nice to meet you)
Minju was a good student
and she's warmhearted.
She'd always help her friends out in a jam.
But she suddenly wants to drop out.
I thought I misheard that.
I was like, "Minju? Really?"
I must've said that around 10 times.
- That's a lot. - Yes...
I couldn't believe my ears.
"Minju? Minju?"
Was she really disappointed
when she didn't get the best grades in class?
Did you ever notice that?
If she even made one mistake on her homework,
even I said, "Oh, you got this wrong, Minju?"
Everyone thought Minju was the perfect student.
That's a lot of pressure for her.
So I'm sure that was hurtful for her.
You made a mistake too, ma'am.
For one mistake... "Minju? Really?"
"She's dropping out." "Minju? Really?"
You sure like to say that, ma'am.
(She really likes Minju)
Whenever we had a PTA meeting
we'd talk about her getting into college too.
So I imagine studying could've
really stressed her out.
You were already planning what college she'd go to?
Whenever I think of Minju,
I think of her as my own pride.
When she got into middle school, my goal was
to get her into an autonomous high school.
That way she could go to Seoul National University
and pursue whatever studies she wants.
- Minju said that? - And Minju is pretty.
She's pretty and she gets good grades.
But she suddenly wants to drop out.
She doesn't have to get the best grades,
but she's been doing really well so far.
Do you think you might be the cause of this?
Everyone I know says that Minju is meant to study.
Who have you been talking to?
I gave it some thought.
Minju's brother is 2 years older than her.
- She has a brother? - Yes.
In 9th grade. But he's disabled.
He's mentally challenged.
He started having convulsions when he was a baby.
He still has over 10 convulsions a day.
I bet that's shocking each time.
He's grown but has the mind of a 1-year-old.
- His intelligence. - Yes.
I have to feed him and take him to the bathroom.
So I'm a bit obsessed with making her study.
I think that sentiment has always been in my heart.
And Minju always studies when I tell her to.
Because of our situation,
I do know that my mom has
a lot of hopes for me.
Does that pressure you?
Do you feel like you have to get good grades?
I feel like I have to try my hardest.
- And you feel a bit pressured too? - A bit...
(Honestly, a little bit...)
(Minju is so mature for her age)
- This is heartbreaking. - Yes...
We understand where the mother is coming from.
Yet Minju understands her mother too,
despite her young age.
(So Minju works even harder)
I heard your brother was supposed to come too,
but he couldn't make it, right?
Yes, my brother has convulsions
when he sees sunlight or lights.
But I like being around my brother.
He comes to hang out with me when I'm studying.
And he's so adorable
when he falls asleep on my lap.
- Wow. - My gosh...
And when I sing "Where Are Your Eyes"
he dances so happily. He laughs when I sing
the "Freeze" song.
So your brother likes those songs.
- Wow, she's so sweet... - "Where Are Your Eyes."
- Can you sing it for us? - Sing it.
♪ Where are your eyes? Right here ♪
♪ Where is your nose? Right here ♪
♪ Where are your ears? Right here ♪
♪ So where is your mouth? Here! ♪
He loves that song.
- How adorable. - That was good.
(The world's best little sister)
She seems like she's very sweet to her brother.
What a sweet daughter.
He's bigger than her, but she cleans up
after him when he soils himself.
- That's amazing. - My gosh.
She feeds him too.
She watches after her brother like an adult would.
(Minju loves her brother very much)
So it's just you and Minju watching him?
He's in 9th grade now. He goes to a special school.
And my husband works.
I have a part-time job too.
So my son spends a lot of time with Minju.
Minju has to look after him.
I bet you're so thankful.
Do you want to do homeschooling
so you can be around your brother more too?
No. That decision is unrelated to my brother.
You went too far.
It always breaks my heart to think about this.
Someone once said this about Minju.
"Will she ever be able to get married?
Her brother is disabled.
Who would want to take her as a bride?"
That's thinking a bit too far ahead.
I've heard that from people.
When I went out with my son,
a couple in their 20s straight-up pointed at
him and started laughing to themselves.
I hated that they were laughing at him.
It's a big issue when I take
my disabled son out.
And I know that my daughter
feels all that pressure too.
So I had to be tough on Minju.
Her brother helped
her find her dream.
She often says she wants to be a special ed teacher.
My brother's teacher
is rude to my mother and brother.
My brother can hurt himself during a convulsion.
So we asked her to get a mat for when he falls.
But she said no.
We had some trouble with her.
My family was very sad about that.
I want to become a special ed teacher
and make him happy.
But you can become a special ed teacher
even without going to an autonomous high school
or Seoul National University.
Uh... You're right.
Isn't that true, ma'am?
I'm not against her becoming a special ed teacher.
But with the right amount of education
she can be whatever she wants to be.
(She needs to start understanding her daughter)
Aside from the dropping out issue,
what else is hard in your life?
Sometimes things get hard,
but I tend to forget after a few days.
But still. I think you think that
you can't afford to let things get you down.
But you shouldn't think like that.
When does life get you down?
- Tell us. - Even though you won't tell your mom.
(Cautious)
When I try to hang out with my friends
but can't because I have to watch my brother.
That's kind of hard on me.
(Of course she would feel that way)
(It was hard for her to admit this)
Yeah, I'm sure that was really hard on you.
So what do you usually like to do?
I like listening to music and watching cartoons.
That's for kids that get bad grades.
You don't seem like the type.
What would you be besides a special ed teacher?
Anything else you'd like to do?
I want to own a macaron shop.
(How adorable)
- How adorable! - So cute!
That's so cute.
Yeah, stuff like that.
A macaron shop owner.
I'd like to be a variety show director too.
And I'd like to be a TV screenwriter.
You can do all of that.
(Didn't know she had so many dreams)
I have spoken to experts about this.
I've lived my life with a disabled sibling too.
Of course that sibling will get more attention.
- That's a given. - Right.
But you feel like you did something wrong
and you try to be brave about it.
Then you'll start to feel resentful.
When that happens,
you'll have a narrow-minded view of the world.
You always have to think of your brother.
That's why you want to be a special ed teacher.
My older sister thought that way too.
But that isn't the only answer.
That isn't always the right thing to do.
I think the mother has to change first.
She says she doesn't say this to Minju,
but she's saying that she has to go to SNU
for her to pursue her dreams.
- But that's not true, ma'am. - Right.
If you keep saying she's your pride,
she can't pursue her dreams.
She becomes fixated on that idea.
So we talked this over a bit.
We know she's a great kid.
You don't have to worry about your daughter.
I think she's going to live a happy life.
I feel like you put Minju in a box,
which is your plan for her happiness.
I think she'd be happy and fine on her own.
(The mother starts crying)
(At the pressure her daughter felt)
(She thought she was doing all this for Minju)
Ma'am...
If I made you cry, I sincerely apologize.
- It's your fault. - Yeah.
If you had someone else to be nice
to your brother that'd take some pressure off
your mom, would you stay in middle school
like your mom wants?
(I want to stay in school)
(This is how Minju felt all along)
(She wants to hang out and be with her friends)
(She puts her family's happiness before her own)
("Good grades would make my mom happy")
("I have to be someone that can help my brother")
(She thought her only answer was dropping out)
What's wrong?
She feels bad for Minju.
If...
If I'm not hard on her,
she might end up living like me.
(She didn't want her daughter ending up like her)
I wanted her to escape this lifestyle.
That's why...
I feel terrible now that I've heard everything.
How about telling that to Minju?
Minju.
I'm so sorry.
("Minju, I'm sorry")
(It's nobody's fault)
(They were just thinking of each other)
(I love you, Minju) I'll be better from now on.
(Don't cry, mom)
We should all be aware.
When public welfare improves for special children
and if we all work together,
we can save Minju's family.
This problem can't be solved by just Minju's mom.
(Will this be a concern forever?)
Minju, say something to your
mom. Look into her eyes.
Let's always try to be happy.
I love you.
Minju!
Don't cry.
I heard you watched the show I was on.
I made a drop-out plan.
I hope your decision
to drop out isn't a rash decision.
After I graduated middle school, I thought,
"Why do I have to go to high school?"
But I still wanted to try it for one year.
Because even if I didn't want to go,
I knew I was going to learn something there.
Because love and happiness
aren't about sharing what little you have.
I believe you have to love yourself a lot
before it flows out onto others.
So I hope you'll be happy, Minju.
Such a good speaker.
You're the sweetest young person I've ever met.
I've never met anyone like you.
So I'll be rooting for you.
Haon, your mom is calling you.
(Sincere advice from Haon)
But remember, Haon drank acetone as a kid.
Keep that in mind.
People need to have many experiences.
So is this a concern or not?
I was too sad to bring this up earlier.
She's always wary of her mom before she talks.
That made me so sad.
Don't be so wary. Just speak your mind.
I think you'll be fine if you do.
(Nomin doesn't think it's a concern!)
I'd always wanted to become a singer.
But my parents were really against it.
I was just like you, Minju...
I just wanted my mom to think I was happy.
So I tried to pretend I was.
But now that she sees I'm really happy,
she's happy too.
So don't feel pressured, Minju.
I want you to do whatever you want to do.
(Eunbi doesn't think it’s a concern!)
I don't want you to give up
what makes you happy for other reasons.
I don't want to give you any pressure, Minju.
So I refuse to make a choice.
Just forget about your worries and be happy, 'kay?
(Giant Pink doesn't think it's a concern!)
Yes. Listen to the nice girl from Seoul.
(See? That's a Seoul accent)
If you find this relatable, please press the button.
(What will the audience think?)
(Please send your concerns to our website)
Time's up!
Say something to your brother who couldn't be here.
Where should she look? That camera.
- How cute! - I bet he'll see this.
She's so cute.
Hey...
I know things are hard on you too.
I want you to be happy too. I love you.
Gosh...
(He has an angel for a little sister)
(We hope Minju never cries again)
(We hope the family can share their feelings)
(And be happy!)
(My daughter used to be stubborn)
(But because she made a promise in front of everyone)
(She said she will go to school)
(Hello Counselor, thank you so much)
(Hello Counselor roots for you in this scorching heat)